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| Mmmm i really don't get the time to blog nowadays...and so i keep collecting the things i wanna blog about
and compile them as a note on my phone. Loses the spur-of-the-moment-inspiration-wanna-write-and-write
feeling tho...oh well. :)
So i was in the shower a few days ago...can't exactly remember when.
Shower times are good moments...
Was thinking about...well...love.
I know it's the one thing we should all stop thinking about and start being...but...i mean it's not like i could
help it.
So when we love, we tend to think that we have the right to all of the other person.
But on the contrary, i'm thinking loving means allowing another the right to all of yourself, and, more
often than not, necessitates stepping back, accepting, bearing, embracing and even having to give up your own ideals of love whilst in the practice of it.
The action and the theory cannot really correlate,
although the theory is usually proven right through the action.
But because we practice it..or live it out..or whatever,
we can't impose the theory on the other person, expecting them to reciprocate the same understanding
and therefore action of love...and it is precisely because we love.
Love, i think, is always about the other...with all of yourself.
Don't know if i'm making sense or if this is even worth the blog...oh well just thought i'd word it out
since it being a shower moment.
Kevin once said
'We can now be so comfortable with showing off our flesh, but less so with farting amidst each other.'
And i totally agree...we sell ourselves, but we're all afraid of being ourselves.
There's always a need to be someone for others...to be someone to be accepted, for the purpose of self-worth.
Maybe it's because we've lost touch with our Maker...that we try to look at our reflections off all other sorts
of things to define our purpose and our worth.
Maybe it's like a kettle trying to be slim...just so it can fit in with the cups.
Which leads me on to the thought of dressing.
Do we dress to impress, or dress to express?
Why impress?
Perhaps we're all so caught up into the reflection thing that we forget to see each other for what we're
worth...for all that we're really worth.
Why 'Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year?'
I was just wondering about it as i walked about in a store with some song with that line playing.
Aren't they both like, really, really different events?
And aren't they both, very significant in their own right?
Isn't it like saying happy birthday to your best-est buddy at his or her party, and at the same time wishing
him or her the congratulations of a promotion of another friend. It's odd....
Hahah but yeah, i'm just over thinking...and i'm not against saying it or anything....just wondering. :)
Hahah this portion is pretty insignificant....
love,
leb
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| i think God has to be big.
bigger than us.
i love it when God weighs upon me, there's just so much sense of helplessness and security happening at the same time.
The truth be told, sometimes we are such good users.
It could be because of the way we've been brought up, or perhaps because of the insecurity in us that we haven't learnt to let go of.
Point - We use everything, including God, to keep ourselves feeling secure.
What if, much of our ideas and beliefs about God are but one big ploy to keep ourselves feeling secure?
What if, so much of what we believe and feel, ain't true at all?
And yet the grace of God bears with us....
How often do we separate God and our faith away from our human condition, away from our pain, away from our reality.
Fact is, our human condition should fuel our faith. (although it shouldn't be faith's only fuel)
Love, and God, are intertwined with our fallen-ness, and it is exactly because of our failure and utter uselessness that we need a Saviour.
We don't need someone or something to give us feelings of security, we need a Saviour.
We cannot get comfortable with salvation, as if it were an iPod we use and soon take for granted.
An iPod we get bored of, an iPod that cannot be used as an anti-septic for our wounds, an iPod that leaves us wanting for more.
Our salvation has everything to do with the involvement of the deepest parts of us, the parts no one else knows about.
And so we can find no excuse to escape from God, or escape from the severity of salvation.
We can no longer use who we are or that ideal dream of running away from it all as a justification for our escape, because when we feel like it,
it only means that we don't understand salvation or recognize the fact that we can never escape from ourselves.
It might also suggest, that we've only been using salvation for ourselves...
Slightly, randomly and off-topic-ly,
I've read a part of Donald Miller's new book, and i paraphrase,
That it is when we stop requesting from God to take away our pain,
that we actually enjoy spending time with Him.
Christ never did come to take pain away, in fact, persecution doesn't sound all jolly to me.
But what Christ did was to establish an unshakable hope within us, a hope that rests on the unshakable
love of God the Father for us.
Also, again slightly randomly/off-topic-ly and paraphrasing from the book,
It is when we stop expecting people to be perfect that we begin to see and taste the beauty of love.
Yeap, it's 5am, i'd better get rest...
Forgive the bad english...please...
love,
leb
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| I am thinking about what to blog about.
It's been some time since i last blogged as you'd already figured.
There have been quite a few Moments i feel i was too lazy to put down into words..which is a bad thing.
So here and now, at 2.29am, one day after my first academic year in ACJC has officially ended, i shall, erm..say something.
I'm guessing many grammatical errors, and no real train of thought.
Be prepared for random-ness...
And the thinking begins..
I like to think of the year before the year is up.
That kinda gives me the chance to live the scarce remaindays (remainder+days) with better perspective.
Ok moving on..
I used to find it difficult to connect nature's beauty with God.
The physical image of the stars, the galaxies, the Grand Canyon, seemed to distract me more than anything.
I know how some people look at these things and see God in them, i found it really hard. I just got, well,
very visually distracted.
It's getting better now, and it's not because i've conditioned my mind to think like that.
It's getting better because i know it's the truth, and the wonder comes from belief and primarily knowing God a bit more than i used to.
But there is one thing i've always, always, found beauty in - mess.
It's funny how i sometimes get so thrown back by God through the small things and not as much through the bigger things.
Seeing things/people broken and screwed, somehow made beautiful.
To me, there's beauty in the cries of the desperate because it points to the fact that we were all wired up for God..though it somehow sadly,
mostly, shows itself when we have nothing left.
-channel change-
Maybe faith now is the only way we'd recognize His face then.
Sometimes, we put faith into what He can do, rather than who He is.
Maybe that's why we get so disillusioned sometimes...
Don't wish for faith, practice it.
-channel change-
Maybe the world will end a whole lot sooner than we think,
maybe it'll end before we get into the university, or before get back our CPF.
-channel change-
i'd write something better later....
hope rise!
love,
leb
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| so, i did some research and found this graph. Mobile Phone Subscribers
http://www.singstat.gov.sg/stats/charts/socind.html Hahah yeah it's pretty funny.
But yes, i shall be joining the rare few upon this sunny island who do not have a mobile phone, for an indefinite period of time. And i am, to be honest, quite looking forward to the experience.
It's something i am not the least bit used to, but it is, nonetheless, an experience. So i ask for your patience and kind understanding.
And i ask that you watch your belongings and not leave them on, ahem, buses. o nokia, nokia, wherefore art thou nokia......
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